We are born knowing that we are infinitely lovable. Babies and toddlers demand love and attention and don’t hesitate to show they want to be held or to ask for toys and presents. At that age, they very obviously believe they deserve them! When we’re very young, we somehow know that we are amazing and deserve nothing but goodness.
But then something happens.
We get programmed by kids at school, various media outlets, and very possibly our own family. We hit puberty, and our hormones kick in, and suddenly instead of being awesome and lovable, we believe we aren’t good enough, smart enough, or good looking enough.
The good news is, you can fall in love with yourself all over again, and here are some ideas to get you started:
Make Time for Yourself
Little kids can spend a lot of time alone playing. And during this alone time, they are connected to themselves. The “you” in this inner world is the real you, not the “you” in the business suit or the rush-hour traffic or the grocery store line. Take time for a bit of quality alone time so you can reconnect to the “you” you’ve forgotten.
Say “No” More Often
If you regularly put others’ needs before your own, you tell your subconscious mind over and over that you don’t matter. If you are a people pleaser, get into the habit of saying no to others and yes to yourself more often.
Do What You Love
Maybe when you were young, you wanted to be a painter or singer or photographer, but an adult “talked some sense into you.” Well, there is no reason you can’t explore these passions as a hobby now. Doing what you love is one of the best ways to love yourself more.
Speak Your Truth
When you frequently tell other people what they want to hear instead of telling the truth, you silence yourself. Silencing yourself kicks your self-worth to the curb. Don’t be afraid to be authentic and truthful. Sure, you’ll sometimes have to find graceful and diplomatic ways to share your truth with others, but it’s the best way to love yourself.
Get Help
When your self-worth is low or non-existent, attempting to love yourself can feel impossible. If you suffer from self-esteem issues, speaking with a therapist can help you recognize where these issues are coming from and how to work through them to truly and unconditionally love yourself.
If you’d like to explore treatment options such as EMDR or CBT, please be in touch. I am more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help you get your spark back!
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